![]() Start with The Prologue - Paul Heidi sat in the City Cab hoping to hit traffic, or a sinkhole, or anything to keep her from her ten year reunion. Of course, all those would only delay the, already overdue, conciliation she owed her friends and Paul. Especially Paul. She hadn’t meant to run out on him, after he proposed, but she had. As a result, she found her place; her home; herself; and, Goddess help her, a man she loved dearly. Beginnings were frightening and endings were painful; faced with the beginning of an end, Heidi was feeling unmitigated trepidation. She smiled at her own use of vocabulary. In order to calm her nerves during the flight, Heidi scoured her Thesaurus app and found several ways to express her dire feelings. Unmitigated trepidation was her current favorite. When the hotel was in sight, Heidi checked the meter and began counting out the appropriate amount of cash. The cab driver stopped at the entrance of the hotel to allow the valet to open Heidi's door while another emptied the trunk. Once she and her luggage were unloaded, an all too efficient process as far as Heidi was concerned, she followed one of the valets inside as he pushed her luggage cart. Heidi’s plan had been to arrive early, check in, and get settled before having to deal with anyone. She was sure there would be some over-eager bunch that would also want to arrive early, with the intent to socialize, so she planned to arrive the earliest. All she could think upon seeing at least a dozen of her over-eager classmates is that even the best laid plans go wrong. “Don’t these people have lives?” she grumbled fully recognizing the absurdity of her situation and too annoyed to acknowledge it. Acting quickly Heidi put her luggage between herself and everyone else; her last hope was to check in and escape to her room unnoticed. Traci Whitlow crushed those hopes with her loud drawn-out words. “Heidi Davis, I heard rumors you would be coming back for our little get together!” Heidi rolled her eyes, fixed a polite smile to her face, and turned around. “I see you’re as eager as the rest of us to see everyone again,” Traci said behind her hand as if they were trading secrets; yet her voice carried to every corner of the lobby. “I highly doubt it,” Heidi said, keeping a smile painted on her face. The smile faltered as she realized everyone was coming to greet her. The emotions overwhelmed her already sensitive empathic system as they were deposited, layer by layer, on her through handshakes, hugs, and pats on the back. Recalling her high school days, Heidi was sure she didn't even talk to these people let alone befriend any of them. She didn't hesitate to escape when the lobby entrance admitted another alumni. Heidi checked in before making a beeline for the elevator. Waiting for the doors to close, and praying no one else got on before they did, Heidi felt an inexplicable chill slither into her gut. The emotion was so intense her knees gave out and she was forced to hold the railing. Breathing through the nausea, Heidi pictured a wall of reflective black between herself and the lobby. When she caught her breath enough to face the source of the cold anger she felt, Heidi looked up into the lobby. She barely managed a glimpse before the doors slid shut.
Shaking and weak from the aftershock of the intense violent empathic input, Heidi staggered towards her room, relying on her luggage for support, a couple times, along the way. Finding her room, she fought a frustrating battle with the lock and key card before being allowed in. Heidi almost fell into the room with her luggage; instead, she threw her weight back against the door before sliding to the floor. Reminding herself to breath, she grabbed her purse from the luggage knocking everything down. Whose idea was it to loop the purse strap onto the luggage handle? Heidi cursed as she shakily opened the purse and, when digging around failed her, dumped all of its contents on the floor. She found the necklace she was looking for, gathered it in her hands, and focused on breathing. Deep breaths, in and out, slow and steady, she thought to herself like a mantra. She visualized the emotions that weren’t hers being pushed further and further from her center. Opening her eyes, Heidi stared at the black tourmaline pendant swaying before her, and chastised herself for not putting it back on after passing through airport security. Heidi, looking beyond the pendant, saw the state of her room with her purse contents scattered and suitcase and carry-on lying haphazard on the floor. Groaning, she closed her eyes a moment before saying, “I hate reunions,” to the disaster waiting for her. Picking herself up off the floor, Heidi righted the suitcase and wheeled it to the luggage rack. Once it was open she saw the tag saying her bag had been searched by TSA. It wasn't surprising considering the multiple bottles of liquid, crystals, and candles that were in it. She started riffing through the contents to find her room clearing spray, energy catcher, and traveling meditation kit. Taking a moment to appreciate the newly refreshed energy, Heidi continued unpacking the rest of her things then moved to the bathroom with her toiletry bag. She took her time setting up her beauty altar which consisted of the usual stuff: toothbrush, facewash, lotion, and make-up. Her shower was transformative as the travel weariness washed away and the heat thawed the ice in her core. Afterwards she felt herself again. Checking the time Heidi quickly applied lotion and a robe, so she would have enough time to call Wade before the welcome dinner. Pulling her phone off the charger, she called him. "Detective Johnson speaking,” Wade answered absently. “Hey. You busy?” she asked knowing he was but hoping he could spare a few minutes. Heidi could feel his attention shift to her. “I have some time for you, how was your flight? Did you get checked in to your hotel alright?” he asked. “The flight wasn’t bad; probably because it was an early Friday morning flight. They searched my bag," she said. Heidi could hear Wade's laughter on the other side. "I told you they would. Were all those oils and things really necessary for one weekend?" He asked, continuing their conversation from yesterday. "It felt pretty necessary; I barely escaped the lobby when I arrived," she said. “Uh-oh, sounds like some people beat you there,” he said, still laughing at the lengths Heidi goes to to avoid people, especially crowds. “Try a dozen people, at least!” Heidi exclaimed, annoyed again that so many people were there to greet her. “Was it really that bad? I bet everyone was happy to see you." Heidi rolled her eyes. “I've never had so many friends in my life,” she replied dryly. When the memory of that last emotion slithered towards her, she focused on Wade’s voice to keep it at bay. “Have you seen your old school friends yet?” he asked knowing, mostly, why Heidi went to a reunion she wanted nothing to do with. “Not yet," she said, silently counting her blessings. "No friend of mine, new or old, would show up this god awful early to a reunion. No matter how swanky it is." All she heard in response was laughter, so she added, "Not a word from you!" Heidi knew Wade found her contradictory behavior entertaining. “Do you think you’ll see them at dinner?” He asked. “Probably,” she replied. Once again that last emotion slithered towards her making her wonder, “Would they be at the dinner?” “Who?” Wade asked, making her realize she unintentionally spoke out loud. Cursing herself for letting it slip; Heidi debated how to respond. She didn't want him to worry and, while he didn't usually believe she was an empath, he would worry. To lie or not to lie that is the question. “I can hear you thinking,” he said in good humor guessing at her silence. On a groan, she decided to half answer the question. “Earlier when I got on the elevator I was hit with some especially strong energy,” she said. “Uhuh," he said before pausing. She could feel his anticipation and knew he wasn't going to let it go. "And this negative energy came from who?” he prompted. “Who said it was negative?” Heidi rebutted with a shrug. “Then why hesitate to tell me about it?” Wade tossed back. Dating a detective had its merits and its drawbacks. Sighing Heidi gave in and answered. “I don’t know who it came from," saying it out loud made it all come back, "but it was strong and it was angry. It nearly floored me,” she said moving to her energy catcher. While the icy feeling slithered around her, she focused on the mirrors hanging from the catcher. She pictured the feeling being reflected back to the owner. It would help if she knew the owner, but considering how unique the energy was she knew it would make it to its rightful destination. Wade was silent longer than she expected before saying, “I’m going to be honest with you," his slow and deliberate choice of words caught Heidi's attention, "I don’t like you being up there alone. Judging by the stories you've told me, something…," Wade growled a frustrated breath, "something's just not right about it all." Heidi could never understand what it was about her high school experience that seemed to trigger Wade, but she always tried to be sensitive to it. “Well love, I’m already here. There isn’t much to do about it now,” she said. He didn’t respond but it felt very much like he wanted to. “What?” she asked. A sudden realization struck Heidi, as his personality and her situation created an image in her mind. “What did you do?” she asked with more force. “I was approved for one week of leave starting after I get off today," he paused long enough to take a quick breath before continuing, "I already have tickets on the red-eye for Williston, and I reserved a car from there. I was gonna surprise you if the leave was approved. Which it wasn’t. Until today. Or I would have told you. Sooner," he said haltingly. Heidi was speechless. She was trying to figure out if she was happy about the surprise, but it was being overshadowed by the knight-in-shining-armor routine. Heidi was not a damsel in distress. Looking at the clock on the stand, she found a way out of the conversation. “Okay, I have to go,” when Wade said nothing, she added, “The welcome dinner is in an hour, and I still have to get ready.” “You don’t want to talk about this?” he asked. “Why discuss it on the phone when we can do it in person. Tomorrow,” she asked cringing at her own tone, “Be sure to get some rest on the flight,” Heidi said trying to sound less bitchy but only sounding ominous. “Hey, take care of yourself too. I love you," he said. No matter what, he always ended his phone conversations like this. She understood the reason for it. “Safe travels. I love you too,” she responded, before hanging up. Heidi started getting ready by controlling her black and magenta curls with a little gel ensuring her left ear would be exposed, an easy feat with the asymmetrical cut. She kept her makeup simple with the exception of her eyes; Heidi enjoyed the dramatic eye look with splashes of coordinating color. Today's colors were rose and chocolate. Her chocolate colored skirt came to just above the knee and had triangular inlets that made the bottom flare a bit more. The rose chiffon blouse had dolman sleeves with long cuffs that had seven buttons each. The modest chocolate Brown wedge heels were more for comfort than fashion. Next came the jewelry, this was Heidi's favorite; she enjoyed designing jewelry and found metaphysical jewelry to be a unique challenge. Finding the right combination and balance of crystals to do a job was one thing, but doing all of that and keeping it fashionable was quite another. The jewelry for today was for protection, grounding, and communication. Her torque necklace, dripping delicate chains and crystals, complimented the loose turtle neck of her blouse. The combination earring and cuff, that she placed on her exposed ear, also dripped with chains and small crystals. They looked like constellations around the inverted triple moon hanging from her ear lobe. Finally, Heidi packed all the essentials in her purse: wallet, lipstick, phone, itinerary for the weekend, notebook, and pen. Not wanting a repeat of last time, she made sure the black tourmaline pendant was stored in a more accessible pocket. She also packed her pepper spray. Heidi may be into “woo,” as Wade called it, but she was aware of its limitations. Once in the now empty hotel lobby, Heidi found a receptionist to let them know she would have another guest staying with her. It took a little longer than she expected to give the gentleman Wade’s information so he could check in as soon as he arrived. Heidi looked over the confirmation paperwork, took pictures of the information Wade would need to check in, and sent it to him. Since he booked a red-eye flight, she knew he would be checking in to the hotel at some ungodly hour and did not want them waking her up for anything. Next, she intended to call a City Cab for a ride to the welcome dinner and was about to pull out the itinerary for the restaurant’s address when she heard someone call her name. “Heidi?” said a voice near the entrance. Heidi groaned making a mental note to avoid the cursed lobby from now on and turned to see who called her. “Paul?” she asked, feeling her nerves jump and stomach drop telling her she was not ready to face him yet, “Is that you?” “Heidi, it is you. You look...great, you haven’t changed a bit,” he said while looking her over. Heidi always felt an itch at her back when Paul looked at her like that. It was a sensation she was used to but it felt different than she remembered. She hadn’t understood it until he proposed to her and now knew it as guilt. A small part of her always suspected he’d had feelings for her but she didn’t feel the same about him. As a result, she ran away from him and his feelings. “Well,” she said, touching her hair and feeling unsure of herself, “I’ve changed my hair since you saw me last.” It was like being stabbed in the gut with an icicle and the emotion was gone as suddenly as it appeared. Heidi froze the moment the anger registered and, as soon as she caught her breath again, she began scanning the lobby to find it’s source. When her eyes landed on Paul, she noticed a strange look in his eye. “Heidi, are you okay? You look a bit pale?” he said, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. Heidi dodged it without thinking. “What?” she asked after dragging herself out of the unwanted emotion. “Oh yes, sorry, I thought I heard a familiar voice,” she said, still looking around the lobby. Then, realizing how dismissive she was sounding, Heidi placed her full attention on Paul and said, “I’m sorry. I’m still travel-worn and you know how I am with crowds.” “Yeah I remember,” he said. Then, in a complete turn of mood, Paul asked, “Are you going to the welcome dinner?” “Umm, yes,” Heidi said, surprised by his sudden change of attitude, not to mention his excitement. “I was just about to call a cab.” “I have a limo already,” he said gesturing towards the hotel door, “Geraldine and Caleb are waiting and there’s plenty of room for another.” Heidi laughed before she saw the limo waiting outside. “That limo is not yours,” she said incredulously, recalling his proclivity for pranks. When he insisted, she began to question herself, “Is it?” Paul smiled offering Heidi his arm. “Only one way to find out,” he said as she took his arm, and they walked out the front entrance of the hotel, towards the limo. A man in a chauffeur uniform opened the limo door when Paul and Heidi approached. “Mr. Addams,” he said, nodding to Paul, “are you expecting anymore guests?” “No, head for the restaurant,” Paul replied as he helped Heidi into the limo. Heidi barely had time to sit down before her presence was protested. “You are not bringing her!” Geraldine said pointedly. Looking up, Heidi saw Paul’s twin sister and felt a twinge of regret that they were no longer friends. Paul settled into his seat next to Heidi. The agitation Heidi felt shooting at her was coming from Caleb, another old friend. This was one of the mysteries she wished to solve during this visit, why her old friends became hostile towards her. “She’s harmless,” Paul offered while smiling at Heidi. He patted her hand in a reassuring manner that was disrupted by the static electricity that kept shocking him. “She shot you,” Caleb said from Geraldine’s side and glared at their hands before meeting Heidi’s eyes. “Twice,” he pointed out, displeasure leaking from his every pore. The hostility she felt from them annoyed her, she really wished they would get over that little incident. “It was an honest mistake,” Heidi said with a shrug and it really had been. Even Paul agreed he shouldn’t have been sneaking around her tent in the middle of the night while they were camping. Of course he hadn’t expected her to be armed while they were out camping, so he thought he could play a prank on her. Heidi always silently added that it was Colorado; who wouldn’t be armed while camping? “An honest mistake?” Geraldine snorted, “And where have you been for the last three years? Honestly lost?” she asked with a sneer. Heidi’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. That was, after all, a valid question and one she didn’t have a good answer for. She hadn’t meant to leave like she did, but it’s not like she came back before now either. In the three years since leaving, she never tried to contact anyone. She just disappeared. “That,” she stopped on a sigh knowing an excuse was no good. “I’m sorry,” she said to Caleb and Geraldine. Then she turned in her seat and looked at Paul, since he was the one she had hurt the most, and said, “I am so sorry. I owe you an explanation.” Paul’s smile was slow and gentle. He reached for Heidi’s hand frowning as static lept between them but continued to say, “I know. We’ll talk later. The two of us.” When he looked at Caleb and Geraldine, it was a look Heidi had seen before. She always joked that it was his “Dad look” because they always seemed to whither under it. Seeing it now, and their reaction to it, made her back itch; though, she couldn’t put her finger on what was wrong. There weren't any negative emotions except for Geraldine’s annoyance and Caleb’s agitation. “Did you know Caleb and Geraldine are getting married?” Paul asked, interrupting Heidi’s thoughts. “Married?” she repeated, making sure she heard him right, and Paul nodded with a wide smile, “Really? Congratulations!” she said. Heidi would never have pictured the two together, but she wished the best for them. “When’s the happy day?” she asked, trying to ignore the discomfort she was sensing from both of them. “Tuesday,” Paul answered when neither spoke, “Can you go?” “Excuse me?” Geraldine and Heidi asked together while Caleb sputtered in shocked silence. “Paul I don’t think that’s-” Heidi began. “Nonsense,” Paul reassured her with a smile, then frowned when his touch was warded off by static. Shaking his head he said, “Old friends should celebrate new beginnings together.” “Paul, I’m sure Heidi has to get back to whatever world trotting adventure she’s been on for the last three years. Don’t you Heidi,” Caleb said, offering Heidi the out she needed on a silver platter. Heidi thought about taking it, but with their attitude and her temper she ended up tossing the offer back in his face with a smile. “Nonsense,” she said, mimicking Paul’s earlier tone and expression while looking Caleb in the eye, “I’ve nothing that’s more important than celebrating the wedding of two old friends.” She looked out the window as a combination of temper and hurt took their toll on her and tears threatened her mascara. Shear stubbornness held them back as they arrived at the restaurant. “Come on, let’s get this over with,” Paul said with as much dread as Heidi was feeling. Paul had a way of making Heidi feel at ease. It was hard for her to explain before, but now she knew it was because he didn’t leak emotions like others did. They entered the restaurant together and were greeted by the Maitre’d who escorted them back to the large private dining room. Heidi never considered the idea that she may be an empath when she was in school; she didn’t grow up in an environment where empathy was anything beyond feeling bad for someone or understanding their feelings about something. Meanwhile everyone around her had been depositing emotions onto her and draining her aura of energy. It wasn’t until she met Dark Moon, who convinced her to try little things here and there, that she started to understand what was happening to her. He was always sneaky about it; saying she should try meditation because it’s “all the rage” or wear a crystal because it “goes with your outfit.” When she finally stopped denying her empathy, Dark Moon taught her how to ground herself, block negative emotions, and protect her aura from being drained by others. When Heidi and Paul entered the dining room she laughed to herself when she saw the decorations. They were the decorations she imagined a high school reunion would use: blown up yearbook photos, streamers and posters with the school colors, and a mascot on full display. She pitied the person they talked into the mascot costume. It all clashed terribly with the high class restaurant they were in; everyone was dressed for the fancy restaurant and the decorations were meant for a school gymnasium. Paul was whisked away by someone as soon as they entered; Heidi thought he might be the owner of the restaurant by the snippets of conversation she caught. Once she was alone, she noted the old familiar feeling of nerves in a crowd. The nostalgic environment seemed to amplify her anxiety, and Heidi almost fell into her old habit of avoiding everyone when Janice walked towards her. “I love your necklace, where did you get it from?” Janice asked. It was the punch of reality that Heidi needed to bring herself to the present. She was no longer Heidi Davis: shy, socially awkward, weird girl. She was Heidi Idelle, soon-to-be owner of Dark Moon and a successful jewelry designer. Going on impulse, Heidi decided to gather a few new customers for the shop while on this goddess forsaken quest for closure. “Oh, thank you. This is one of the pieces offered exclusively at my shop in Amarillo called Dark Moon. The cuff earring is by the same designer.” Heidi said, making sure to discreetly show all the jewelry she was wearing as she spoke. One never knows what will catch a customer’s eye. “Oh wow. You own a shop in Amarillo,” Janice asked confused. “Wait, you aren’t Heidi Davis are you?” Janice asked with a laugh, “I am so sorry…” “No I am Heidi, formerly Davis now Idelle,” Heidi interrupted. Janice raised her brows while looking for a wedding ring so Heidi clarified, “I’m not married, I just changed my name.” “Why?” Janice asked brusquely. Heidi was saved from answering when Traci joined the group. “You two seem to be having such an interesting conversation. I couldn’t help but join in,” she said loudly. “I was telling Janice about my necklace,” Heidi said, hoping the subject change would stick. “Heidi changed her last name to Idelle,” Janice said, “without getting married.” Oh how Heidi missed Texans and their annoying polite southern ways. Deep breaths Heidi chanted in her mind. She knew this conversation was bound to happen, and she was ready for it. “Oh really? Is that some foreign custom you picked up on your travels?” Traci asked, eagerly awaiting any gossip she could get. “No, I just felt like changing it,” Heidi said, confusion making her forget all internal scripts of conversation that she had. “What do you mean ‘travels’?" Traci and Janice looked at Heidi like she was a bug, and she could feel disgust and intrigue rolling off of them in eager waves. Traci smiled, though it seemed closer to a sneer, “Sweetie, we know all about your travels. Your galavanting…” “Good evening ladies,” Paul said from behind Heidi, making her jump. “Oh I’m sorry Heidi, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Paul said with a friendly hand on Heidi’s shoulder and snatched it back when he was struck by static. “It seems you’ve shocked me back, again. We’re even now,” he said, trying to make light of the static that kept appearing. Heidi was beginning to question the constant presence of the static as well, but she had more burning questions at the moment and wasn’t sure where to start. She decided to ask him why everyone thought she’d been “traveling” for the last 3 years. “Paul…” “Did you know her last name is Idelle now?” Janice asked Paul before Heidi could get her own question out. Heidi didn’t have time to analyze the inciting malice she noted in that question because she felt an unrelenting pressure wrap itself around her being. It was like she was deep diving into a dark cold ocean with a submarine big enough for one. She recognized the same anger as before, realizing it had to be a classmate, and it was strong. Her jewelry, by most standards, would be considered overkill in the protection department but seemed mediocre in this situation. Wanting to find the source of the negative energy, she began looking around the room and waited for her eyes to be instinctively drawn to someone. When her eyes only wandered she decided to deflect the energy back to its source; focusing on her breath, she erected a black reflective wall around herself. She didn’t hear Paul talking to her until he touched her shoulder briefly. “What? I’m sorry, what did you say?” Heidi asked, splitting her attention three ways: conversation, protective wall, and finding the source of negative energy. “I asked why you changed your last name,” Paul said, using the words to strike her with cold vehemence. “My last name,” she repeated, trying to capture a thought that was just out of reach. She lost it as the pressure around her increased, and she found herself caught in Paul’s eyes. They made it impossible to breathe but she couldn’t grasp why even though the answer clawed at her mind. “Yes, your last name,” Paul asked through his clenched jaw, “that you changed to... Idelle was it?” he asked Janice for confirmation. Both she and Traci nodded eagerly. Still confused and trying to catch up, Heidi gave the same reply as earlier, “I felt like changing it.” Her temper and exhaustion got the better of her when he showed no satisfaction with her answer. “Who cares? It’s my last name, I’ll change it if I want to,” she exclaimed. Her voice carried exceptionally well and everyone stopped to stare at them. Heidi threw her hands up, irritated at everything and tired of everyone. Then a nauseating thought hit her; did everyone here know Paul had proposed to her? No. He wouldn’t have told everyone he had proposed and she ran out. Except everyone kept asking her about her travels. “Paul…” “It’s fine,” he said, stopping her, “we’ll talk later,” then turned and left the room. “That’s just like you!” Geraldine hissed as she stalked towards Heidi, “You're always taking advantage of him.” Looking around the room at her classmates she felt a mixture of annoyance, jealousy, anger, and smug satisfaction coming from them, and none of it made any sense. Heidi grabbed Geraldine’s arm and focused her empathic senses on her before asking, “What is going on?” Geraldine looked at her with exasperation as contempt crawled up Heidi’s arm. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” she said, when she failed to shake Heidi’s hold on her. “I’m missing something and I need to know what,” Heidi said. “My brother proposes to you and you up and run-off asking for time and space. Taking his money! Well he gave it to you. He waited patiently for you to come back and the best you can do is a fucking Christmas card,” Geraldine said building momentum as she went. “Geraldine I…” “I’m not done yet, so save your apologies,” she snapped, mistaking Heidi’s intent, “Not only do you fail to ask how Paul is and what he’s been doing to win your selfish-ass back, but you brag about how great of a time you’re having. Then, when he’s finally made something of himself, you come slithering back into town,” Geraldine said in a menacing voice, her face barely an inch from Heidi’s. She moved even closer and spoke in a harsh whisper, “Don’t you dare think anyone here will stand by and watch you walk all over him like you did in high school.” Heidi dropped her hand to her side feeling fragile after Geraldine’s relentless vilification. She left the welcome dinner with a brewing migraine and the taste of bile in her throat; both were a result of opening herself to everyone’s emotions. As she walked past her gawping classmates she threw up her defensive walls and kept them in place until she was safe in her room. Once there, she changed her clothes and washed her face, oblivious of her own actions, before lying in bed for a night of dream and memory and nightmare. Heidi, exhausted, drifted to sleep, where her mind flitted through dreams and memories. Dreams evoked her first time walking into Dark Moon’s shop, also called Dark Moon. She never found out if he was named after the store, or the other way around, because she was at his memorial reading the letter he’d left for her. “Go home and find closure,” is all it said. Home. Was Williston home? This wasn’t her home; this was a restaurant. She’d had enough of restaurants for today, except Wade sat across from her. She couldn’t help but relax; he always put her at ease. Had someone turned on the AC? She felt cold. She wanted to ask Wade but Paul sat before her. “I don’t want to be here,” she said, but no sound came out. It’s the dinner where he proposes, where she runs away. “I have to go,” she says soundless, unable to move. Her stomach clenches and flutters as if it, too, is trying to leave but cannot escape. Paul is kneeling before her. “No,” she screams; still, no sound will come out. She can feel tears on her face and hear her own whimpers. Panic leaps through her body as Paul slips the ring on her finger. It’s like an anchor as she’s dragged into an unfathomable ocean. Unable to breathe, unable to drown. Pressure, ice, and darkness surround her as she sinks, sinks. Sinks. “No!” Heidi bolts upright in bed and grabs at her hand to tear off a ring that isn’t there. Tears wet her face as she catches her breath, “No,” she whispers to the darkness and listens to the tinkling response of her catcher. The rest of the night was a bust as far as sleep was concerned. Normally she would go for a walk outside and get some air, but the thought of going outside, of running into anyone, of running into Paul… On a shudder, she decided it was best to stay in her room and find a distraction. Heidi didn’t want to acknowledge how relieved she was that Wade was coming as she didn’t ascribe to the idea of knights rescuing damsels. This was the twenty-first century, women had mastered the art of rescuing themselves; all too often, men showed up when they weren’t needed or wanted. Then, when they were needed, they were habitually absent. She preferred to rely on her own strength and wit. The only guy that had always been there for her had been Paul. Or maybe not. The nightmare was a reminder of the feeling she got from him three years ago when he proposed to her. When she panicked and ran. At least she always told herself that she panicked and ran, that it was her fault, and that she had betrayed a good man. Reliving that moment in nightmare form made her question him and her past reasoning. Add in what happened at the welcome dinner, and she had to wonder what Paul had been telling everyone. Heidi brewed some chamomile tea with the room’s coffee maker and, while it steeped, sorted through the oils still packed in her suitcase. Pulling out her bottle of May Chang and searching for the patchouli, she laughed at the number of oils she had packed and wondered how much was intuition or paranoia. Her search was interrupted when the tinkling of the catcher caught her attention; she watched, mesmerized as little mirrors and crystals tapped against each other. The knock at the door had her jumping while panic lept in her stomach. As she took the phone off the charger, she saw a snippet of a message from Wade, “Plane landed, headed there soon…,” and dropped the phone on the bed in excitement. Almost running for the door, she opened it, anxious to see Wade. “Paul,” she said, breathless from excitement and surprise. She mentally berated herself for not checking who was at the door before answering it, then asked, “What are you doing here?” Her heart raced in panic, and intuition screamed for caution while her mind replayed the nightmare that had plagued her dream. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was wandering the halls,” Paul said with a charm that now felt forced and rehearsed to Heidi, “I thought you might be awake and knocked to see. I figured this would be a good time to talk. Can I come in?” he asked, already stepping in the door. “No,” Heidi said, blocking his way, “Now’s not a good time,” she said, trying to rack her brain for an excuse, “I’m busy...working...and should get back to it,” she said, then, after an apologetic pause, stepped back to close the door. Paul stepped forward, placing his hand on the door in a casual and friendly manner, making it problematic to close. “Heidi,” he said with a sugary tone and smile as he always did when she was being unreasonable. Wait, she wasn’t being unreasonable; Heidi had to shake off those thoughts and point out the facts to herself. It was barely five in the morning, and she didn’t want to talk to him. “We really need to talk about what happened yesterday evening,” he continued under a guise of consideration, “I deserve to know what happened that day.” He lifted his hand and moved to touch Heidi’s face. She dodged his touch and could barely conceal her frustration. If anyone deserved an explanation, it was her, but this was not the time or place. The cold empty anger she felt drifting from him warned her against being alone with him. “Now isn’t a good time,” she said, scanning the hallway for people and finding none, “I’m useless this early in the morning; how about later?” she offered, taking note that her phone was on the bed behind her. “I thought you were about to do some work? If you can work, I think we can talk.” Every sentence brought him closer, and she couldn’t tell if it was her empathy or if he was actually moving. She decided if she couldn’t get rid of him, then they would need to go somewhere public. “Paul really, now just doesn’t work. What about over breakfast in an hour?” she asked, hoping he would agree. She was being overwhelmed by his presence. She needed space; she needed to escape and recover. It was like she couldn’t breathe. “Heidi, are you feeling alright? You look pale. Maybe we should go in; you need to lie down, I think.” Heidi wanted so desperately to cry out in frustration, but she was afraid she would set him off. She was afraid of Paul. Not wanting to be alone with him yet unable to get rid of him, her only option was to leave her room. The hallway may be empty but there was surveillance; however, she didn’t have her room key on her and couldn’t risk getting it. That’s perfect, she thought. Getting a new key is the excuse she needs to go to the lobby, and she can stay there until he leaves. Smiling, she stepped forward as she spoke, “Paul, I’m fine…” “Heidi, what in god’s name are you doing up at this hour?” said a man down the hall from them. Wade! Her soul cried out to him as she looked in the direction of his voice. When she made eye contact with him she fought a very real urge to cry. Seeing how he shifted from exhausted-traveler-Wade to big-bad-detective-Johnson, she realized how bad she must look. Wade's stride was casual but determined, and when he stood next to Heidi, he forced Paul to step back. After he kissed her forehead, he placed a hand on her back as if to say, “I got you. It’s okay. You’re safe.” Heidi could have cried from relief as she lost herself in the feel of his warm energy. “Hi there,” Wade said, looking at Paul. Her illusion of a two-person world broke, and she was back in the hallway surrounded by a tumultuous clash of energy. “I’m Wade,” he said with a casual smile and offering his hand, “and you would be?” Behind Heidi, the catcher sang a hollow song as mirrors, crystals, and feathers danced in the turbulent energy. It rolled and contracted, then swirled and expanded as the dense heat of Wade’s temper met the icy void of Paul’s anger. “Paul,” Paul said, taking the offered hand. Occasionally, when an emotion or energy was strong enough, Heidi could see it move. It didn’t happen often and right now was like witnessing a volcano in the Arctic. “How do you know Heidi?” Paul asked. “I’m her boyfriend. Heidi and I wanted to make a little couple’s getaway out of her reunion. I was stuck at work yesterday; so, I’m only just getting in,” Wade said. Heidi noticed how easily Wade twisted the truth and caught the meaning in his words, stay away, she’s mine, and you won’t catch her alone again. “Is that so?” Paul said, eyeing Heidi. When she nodded her confirmation, he clenched his jaw before smiling at Wade. “Well, you must be tired after your long trip. Heidi and I won’t keep you from your room and some rest. We were about to go to breakfast; we’re overdue for some catching up,” Paul said with all the outward signs of congeniality; yet, his icy energy was raging against Wade’s meandering lava. “Oh, well, sorry to spoil your plans but I’ve already booked this time to be lectured by Heidi for some… well it’s a well-deserved lecture,” Wade looked at Heidi and said, “Let’s head in dear,” as he shuffled her into the room, “I hope you saved some closet space for me,” and politely shut the door in Paul’s face. Once it clicked shut, Wade turned around, dropped his bag, stood before Heidi, and started running his hands up and down on her arms. “What do you need?” he asked. Heidi looked at him, knowing he was fighting the urge to gather her up in his arms. He liked to save the day, and he had managed to do so in a rather spectacular way. She was the reluctant damsel, and he was the gallant knight in a south park t-shirt, sometimes you just had to take the part life gave you. “Um, if you could just hold me; I’m feeling a bit cold,” she replied, hating how thin and fragile her voice sounded. Wade, surprised by her request, paused a moment before gathering her in his arms to hold her. Usually, when Heidi’s empathic senses were overwhelmed, she needed space and time to rebuild her defenses before she could tolerate anyone else’s emotions. Right now, though, she needed warmth. She needed to feel Wade’s emotions and swim in them to get her balance. Heidi could feel herself relax into him, and the shivering stopped. She hadn’t even realized she was shaking until it stopped. Exhaustion swept through her, and she just held on to him, breathing in his scent. This was home. “I could get used to this,” Wade said with a touch of humor, “Want to talk about what just happened or lecture me about coming uninvited, lady’s choice.” “You know I hate being seen as the damsel in distress almost more than acting like one. I can damn well take care of myself and don’t need you playing gallant knight,” sighing into his chest, she continued, “All that being said, you did good. You were right.” Heidi shook her head, hoping to stop the tears that were threatening, “Thank you for showing up when you did,” she managed to say before the dam broke and she cried. Wade led her to the couch, sat her down, and held her. When the tears slowed, and she was calmer, he got up and grabbed her tea. “It’s cold; do you want some fresh?” He asked. “No, hot/cold, the effect’s the same,” she said, reaching out for it. After giving it to her, he went about brewing coffee for himself and a second cup for Heidi, knowing she’d want it after the tea. She watched him work, letting the methodical and familiar movements lull her, as she did her best not to think about where she would be right now if he hadn’t shown up. When he was done, he sat back down, and she followed her instinct to curl up into his side. Wade paused, allowing her to get comfortable, then relaxed back into the couch. “Okay, so, not that I’m complaining--because I’m not--but what’s up with all this?” he asked, gesturing at how she entwined herself into his side. Heidi sighed, “I’m not sure either; I just need the contact. It’s like I’m starved for emotion and need to wrap myself in yours,” she said, wriggling in closer. They were silent a moment while they sipped their drinks, her tea and his coffee. Then Wade asked, “So that was your old friend Paul?” The involuntary shiver his name caused made Wade’s emotions tense; she forced herself to relax so he would as well. “Yes,” she answered, “actually, he was the source of negative energy I kept feeling yesterday.” “Anger?” “You know I kept thinking that. It was the closest thing I could think of to call it. It’s so unusual. Just now, while it seemed angry in some ways, it was more empty. Like a boiling vacuum, boiling in a sense of movement though, not temperature because it’s icy. It’s like drowning in an ocean,” Heidi whispered, remembering her dream, “You can’t breathe, but you won’t suffocate.” Wade listened quietly and, when she finished the chamomile, took her cup and exchanged it with the fresh coffee he’d made. “So that’s the guy you shot?” Wade asked, breaking the silence. “Accidentally shot,” Heidi clarified, annoyed that this always seemed to come up. “Right. Sure it wasn’t on purpose? I wouldn’t judge; he seems…” he broke off and Heidi felt his shift from humor to concern, “dangerous.” “I’m so confused,” Heidi growled in frustration, “None of this makes sense.” Wade nodded with a thoughtful hmm and waited. When Heidi said nothing more, he said, “I like a good mystery, and I’m good at solving things. I make a living out of it actually.” Heidi giggled at his not-so-subtle hint then sobered when she realized she was going to have to tell him all of it. Part of her was mortified; part of her knew he was going to be pissed. She was going to need something stronger than chamomile tea. Standing up, she found the patchouli and chamomile oils she was looking for earlier and added them to the infuser with the May Chang. Taking a deep breath, she set her intention to let it all go. When she was done, she looked at Wade who watched her work with a patience honed from several years on the police force. She paced the hotel room in preparation for telling a very uncomfortable story. Next: Part 2 - Wade
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